Becoming Somebody

This may sound hypocritical considering Oprah recently agreed to campaign for my presidential candidate of choice and not a peep was said by me. I apologize for my silence, but the thought didn’t strike me then, mainly because I like Barack Obama, and if HRC gets to roll out Slick Willy and Mecha-Streisand in an attempt to cull support, I figured Barack deserved his own obnoxious, albeit dangerously popular, celebrity spokesperson.

But enough is enough. I realize my mistake and apologize for it. Everything this woman discusses on her show goes on to take over the world, and it’s just not right.

Last week, the unimpressive and generic-sounding baritone Josh Groban appeared on Orah’s show to hock his latest album, Noel, a collection of recycled X-mas songs that debuted six weeks prior and sold at a fair but mediocre rate. After the pawn-fest, however, complete with requisite swooning by the host and the brainwashed soccer moms in attendance, the record reached No. 1 on the Billboard top 200, with sales increasing by eighty-one percent. In a week. For an album of X-mas standards. Sung by a Josh Groban.

I don’t understand it. Of course it makes sense to me how a celebrity creates buzz for a product or a cause. What boggles my mind is the extent to which Oprah affects the market, the shear volume of previously apathetic drones transformed into a mobile army of consumers willing to toss their money at whatever item this swill merchant deems worthy of import. She is a phenomenon that must be stopped.

That is why I am begging Oprah Winfrey to immediately, for the love of all that is good in the world, discontinue the schlock peddling. Please. No more politicians. No more CDs. No more actors jumping on couches so everyone goes, “Hot damn, that guy is fucking nuts.” No more Oprah’s Book Club. Unless, of course, the OBC wants to read something I’ve written. In which case, Opie, give me a ring. I’d love to stop by for a chat.

Nothing new to blog right now. I’m busy writing Friday’s story. In the meantime, feel free to peruse the short story archive and relive your favorite Becoming Somebody moments.

I’ve decided that it’s stupid and pointless to give myself a grade on the stories I write because I realized I never read them once they go up on the site. I might read a sentence or two from time to time, but I don’t sit and read them from start to finish. So what I end up grading is the process, how easily the idea came to me, how I thought it went as I was writing. But that’s not really the measure of a story’s success or failure. I’ll leave the measure of my success to the people reading. I have other things to worry myself with.

I still want to provide some insight, whenever possible, into what these stories are about or where they come from, though. I’ll continue posting any thoughts I have on a story the Monday or Tuesday after it publishes. I hope these posts and video blogs help get inside my head a little and explain where I’m coming from, even if you don’t get it or think I’m weird.

“The Sounds I Hear” was pretty straightforward. The story is about how we can do a lot of talking without really communicating, and how we need to listen to each other if we want to have any kind of connection to the people are us. After all, everything comes down to the sounds and words you choose to hear. What is really being communicated in an argument with someone? What does that garbage-truck rumble make you think? It’s all about sorting through the noise and getting to the heart of it. That’s what the story was about. I think that message comes through pretty clearly. To that end, I’m happy with the way it turned out.

This robot-man just will not die.

In yet another attempt to shamelessly pimp myself to the masses, I have created a Becoming Somebody profile page for people on Facebook to (probably not) join.

If you are on Facebook, please add me and save me the embarrassment of having no friends. And if you’re not on Facebook, join the cult at once. Once you’ve done so, immediately add Becoming Somebody. Then begin stalking people you haven’t spoken to or seen in years. It’s great fun.

I was recently asked by more than person to provide some links to informational sites about going vegetarian/vegan instead of just shocking everyone with heinous depictions of animal torture. Changing your lifestyle is hard — I’ve been animal-friendly for two-and-a-half years and still struggle at times — but these sites will hopefully point people in the right direction.

And because I can’t just leave it at that, I’ll put up a couple that will hopefully change a few minds about meat, dairy, fur, and leather products. Just man-up and tell yourself the truth.

I like to listen to podcasts while I write because radio could not be worse, and there are too many internet radio stations to sort through to find one that suits my taste.

If anyone knows of some good ones to subscribe to, let me know.

I’m sorry if any of the recent posts/videos have upset or offended anyone, but I’m starting to feel like one of the few areas where I could work full-time, when I’m not writing, is in animal-rights activism. I’m not ashamed to say it breaks my heart to know that our society has not evolved past exploiting and torturing innocent, defenseless creatures for the sake of corporate financial gain. But, then again, our government won’t even denounce the torture of humans, so I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Anyway, if anyone wants to discuss/debate this topic further, feel free to engage me personally in the comments section or via e-mail. I will now do my best to keep this blog on its intended path. I realize I’ve been getting a bit “off topic.” I’ll try to keep the more tangential posts to a minimum. Thanks for understanding.

Animal testing is cruel and unnecessary. To learn more, click here.

For information on how you can live cruelty-free, click here.

I can’t promise this will be my last post on the subject of animal rights and cruelty-free campaigns, but I needed to put this up because of how horrified I was after watching this video. Look into the eyes of these monkeys and try to tell me they are incapable of emotion.

Update: Listen to the message Rob Zombie recorded for PETA’s Holiday Hotline, created in response to Butterballs’s Turkey Talk Line (click here for audio message).

I know this won’t make anyone change their minds, but I can’t in good faith, with ready access to a medium of mass distribution, neglect to urge everyone to consider non-animal options for their dinner tables. Here’s some info from PETA.org and GoVeg.com about turkeys and the way they are treated in factory farms.

Please read these little tidbits, watch both the videos, then ask yourself why a turkey or a cow or a chicken or a pig deserves to be treated differently than a dog or a cat or a child.

And don’t kid yourself into thinking that this Butterball slaughterhouse is any different than any other company, even the kinder-sounding organic or free-range farms. Is there really such a thing as humanely killing another sentient creature for food, especially when we’ve developed other, cruelty-free means of sustenance?

Turkeys have been genetically modified to gain weight rapidly because fatter turkeys mean fatter wallets for farmers. But in nature, the turkey’s athletic prowess is truly impressive. Wild turkeys can fly at speeds of up to 50 miles per hour and run at speeds of up to 15 miles per hour. The natural lifespan of the turkey is between 10 and 12 years, but on factory farms they are slaughtered when they’re just 5 months old.

Turkeys are born with full-color vision just like our own, and in nature they stay with their mothers for up to the first five months of their lives. These gentle birds are very bonded to their young—in the wild, a mother turkey will courageously defend her family against predators.

Many respected researchers have spoken out on behalf of this intelligent, social bird. Oregon State University poultry scientist Tom Savage says, “I’ve always viewed turkeys as smart animals with personality and character, and keen awareness of their surroundings. The ‘dumb’ tag simply doesn’t fit.”

Even a popular turkey-hunting guide admits that turkeys are far from feather-brained. According to the Remington Guide to Turkey Hunting, turkeys will “test your wits as they are rarely tested in modern life.”

Erik Marcus, the author of Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating, has spent a considerable amount of time with turkeys on farm sanctuaries. He reports, “Turkeys remember your face and they will sit closer to you with each day you revisit. Come back day after day and, before long, a few birds will pick you out as their favorite and they will come running up to you whenever you arrive. It’s definitely a matter of the birds choosing you rather than of you choosing the birds. Different birds choose different people.”

You wouldn’t eat your dog. Why eat a bird? Please think before you eat.