Becoming Somebody

I’m sure most of you have seen this by now, but if you haven’t let me fill you in. Apparently the “right-wing blogosphere” (aside: the union of the words “right-wing” and “blogosphere” might make for the most obnoxious conceptual juxtaposition in the Internet age) was abuzz recently about a Dunkin Donuts ad in which the heinously annoying Rachel Ray was shown wearing a white-and-black paisley scarf around her neck (see below).

“So what?” you ask.

Well, dear readers, according to conservative pundits led by Michelle Malkin, the scarf looked just a bit too much like a keffiyeh. And that was a bad thing. Because Islamic jihadis, particularly those in Palestine, wear keffiyehs. And American consumers of junk food are sensitive about things that look like things worn by Islamic jihadis. So Dunkies pulled the ad.

Now, I’m no fashion expert, but doesn’t any wrapped scarf kind of look like a keffiyeh, considering a keffiyeh is nothing more than a wrapped scarf worn by Arab men to keep the sun off their heads and sand out of their mouths?

And isn’t this America? A place where the freedom of people to dress as they choose should have by now rendered impotent the potential social dangers of fashion-based symbolism?

And isn’t Rachel Ray the complete antithesis of someone with whom Islamic jihadis would align themselves — an obnoxious, rich, property-owning, unwed, female loudmouth?

And, as much as I would love to see Rachel Ray strap dynamite to her chest and explode herself for any reason at all, does anyone really believe the queen of annoying culinary catchphrases is a covert Islamic militant? A jihadi sympathizer?

Can someone please explain this to me? Confuse me much America does.