Posts Tagged ‘George W. Bush’

What’s next? A toaster? A blender perhaps?

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

How does a down-on-his-luck Cuban making between $10 and $15 a month spell freedom?

Thanks to his old pal Dubya, it’s no longer spelled: L-I-B-E-R-T-A-D.

No, no amigo tonto. Lo deletreas: V-E-R-I-Z-O-N o A-T-and-T. Cualquiera es aceptable.

I must give credit to the president for continuously boggling my mind with foreign-policy and humanitarian initiatives that seem a touch — oh what do I call it? — disingenuous.

Bush to let Americans send cell phones to Cuba, from CNN.com:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — The United States will allow Americans to send mobile phones to relatives in Cuba under a change in policy that President Bush announced Wednesday.

Bush said he is making the change since President Raúl Castro “is allowing Cubans to own mobile phones for the first time.”

“If he is serious about his so-called reforms, he will allow these phones to reach the Cuban people,” Bush said. […]

Bush said Wednesday it is “the height of hypocrisy to claim credit to allow Cubans to purchase appliances that virtually none of them can afford.”

The president concluded his statement by adding, “Oh snap. What do you think of me know, Castro brothers? Take that, you commie sonsabitches.”

When asked by a reporter whether he would encourage Castro to eavesdrop on calls made by Cuban citizens on those phones, as is the practice in the United States, Bush turned to Dick Cheney and winked his right eye. The vice president then leaped over the podium and onto the unsuspecting journalist. By the time members of the press corps wrestled Cheney away, all that remained of the correspondent was a necktie and a digital audio recorder.

Unfazed, once the media retook their seats, the president then revealed a new plan to send bagel slicers to Sudanese refugees, apparently in an attempt to show militia leaders in Darfur that, in a world snuggled under the warm blanket of freedom, even those escaping genocide deserve a tasty breakfast.

America’s stupidest cowboy brandishes his guns of diplomatic ignorance once again.

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

At this point, after seven and a half years of repeated foreign policy blunders, half-truths and misstatements, it is hard to believe George W. Bush continues to provide new and glaring examples of his diplomatic ineptitude. Speaking earlier today in Israel, Bush likened Barack Obama to Nazi appeasers, because the likely Democratic presidential nominee has said he favors “tough, direct presidential diplomacy with Iran without preconditions” to the deaf ears, blind eyes, and military bravado of Bush, John McCain, and the other right-wing savages whose lust for Middle Eastern blood and oil seems impossible to satisfy.

While no one has been more front and center than Obama in the recent debate over whether or not the U.S. should talk with nations with whom it disagrees, Bush did not name Obama explicitly. The president chose instead to lavish his smear on all those who prefer diplomacy to war, people like Jimmy Carter, former CENTCOM commander Admiral William J. Fallon (who “resigned his post” in March after publicly criticizing the administration’s position on Iran), and the great majority of Americans who are sick and tired of watching their sons and daughters return home in metal boxes, stuffed in the hull of a transport plane, for no good reason. But the president’s implication was nevertheless clear.

“Some seem to believe we should negotiate with terrorists and radicals,” Bush said in a speech before Israel’s parliament, “as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along.”

“We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: ‘Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided.’ We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.”

I would like to know which history Bush is studying here, because diplomacy has been proven to work time and again throughout our history. Need we remind Bush that the world was spared a nuclear disaster because John Kennedy and his administration were open to discussions with Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev during the most hostile moments of the Cuban missile crisis? Hell, even Richard Nixon, with his black soul and paranoid dementia, visited Mao’s China in 1972, helping to normalize relations and, perhaps, extinguish an international fire before it sparked.

Bush hides behind the dubious claim that Iran is a state sponsor of terrorism. But regardless of what the president thinks, Iran is a sovereign nation, not a terrorist organization, and it should be treated and dealt with as such. By treating Iran (and Syria and Lebanon) like dirt on his boots, imposing sanctions and choking civil discourse, Bush has done nothing but fuel the sentiment that has led many in the Middle East to sympathize with and support in elections groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. The only way to stem the tide is to treat these nations firmly, but with dignity as well.

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, apparently among the other appeasers, has also called for increased dialog between the U.S. and Iran. “We need to figure out a way to develop some leverage … and then sit down and talk with them,” Gates said yesterday. “If there is going to be a discussion, then they need something, too. We can’t go to a discussion and be completely the demander, with them not feeling that they need anything from us.” Gates, apparently, has spent a bit more time than his boss studying international relations.

But Bush’s misunderstanding of history doesn’t end with his brushing off of the effectiveness of diplomacy. Comparing Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Hitler, and Iran to Nazi Germany, is so inaccurate it would have been met with laughter had Bush made the juxtaposition in any other country but Israel. It is undeniable that Ahmadinejad spews anti-Semetic, anti-Zionist rhetoric at every turn. However, neither his political nor his military power is anywhere close to that which Hitler accrued in the latter half of the 1930s. Ahmadinejad’s call to “wipe Israel off the map” has all the practical force of a left hook from a geriatric amputee. It is nothing more than rhetorical posturing from an insecure little man without the faculties to otherwise lead his nation. Rather than dignifying the remarks by taking them seriously, as Bush apparently does, they should be ignored and ridiculed by civilized members of the global community.

And this is perhaps the most egregious of Bush’s many miscalculations vis-à-vis Iran. By acknowledging Ahmadinejad, the president gives him more authority than he would have otherwise. What Bush and his minions fail to realize is that Ahmadinejad no more speaks for his people than Bush does for his. Both men have seen their approval ratings dip to near record lows as they speak more and more radically, growing more and more out of touch with reality, threatening the peace and prosperity of their nations.

Like Bush, Ahmadinejad’s core support comes from lower income, less educated, and more religiously radical citizens who are more susceptible to fear tactics and rallying cries for the expansion of nationalist interests at any cost. These groups, as they grow more afraid and deeper into economic and social despair, become more willing to accept the idea that their enemies lie overseas, rather than within their borders, remaining blind to the fact that their own governments are manipulating the truth and preventing real progress by not focusing on the true cause of their problems: a stunted economy, the misappropriation of resources, too little focus on education and social welfare programs, things that limit the ability of people to rise out of their poverty and achieve better lives for themselves and their families.

Bush views himself, and in turn all heads of state, including Ahmadinejad, as the infallible mouthpiece of his country, despite the factual inaccuracy of this delusion. He also chooses to see only the worst in everyone else, their most divisive and cynical elements that are easily exploited and frightened into submission. The fact remains, however, that people simply want peace. They want economic security. They want access to education for their children. And they want these things whether they live in D.C. or Tehran or Kabul or Baghdad. No amount of chest thumping from seedy, evil leaders can change that fact.

Bush’s actions, a cheap, inaccurate fear card only he would play, are unfit for the office of the presidency, not the first time he has disgraced the position. Time and again, he proves himself nothing more than a snake-oil salesmen, using lies and empty propaganda to pitch gullible or willingly misguided people the poison that will ultimately kill them. And he does it so easily, a mischievous glint in his eyes, his mouth a twisted grin, a telltale sign revealing a seemingly logical impossibility: He truly believes his own misguided venom. I would love to spend a day inhabiting such a fairytale. If only the consequences weren’t so dire.

* * *

Update (Thursday, 4:45 p.m. ET): For the record, for those who were unsure, I looked up appeasement and found a practical, working definition: “the policy of accepting the imposed conditions of an aggressor in lieu of armed resistance, usually at the sacrifice of principles. Usually it means giving in to demands of an aggressor in order to avoid war.”

Diplomacy is defined as: “the art and practice of conducting negotiations between representatives of groups or states. It usually refers to international diplomacy, the conduct of international relations through the intercession of professional diplomats with regard to issues of peace-making, trade, war, economics and culture.”

If appeasement means passively giving into the demands of an aggressor, and diplomacy means actively negotiating to achieve a mutual benefit, how, then, are the two terms synonymous, as President Bush suggested in his brainless comments?

I’ll answer that question. They aren’t. The man is just a manipulative scumbag, a complete idiot, and a degenerate, lowlife piece of trash, the worst kind of politician that has ever existed and likely ever will.

Dubya’s favorite painting. A true story.

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

So delusional. So simple. So George W. Bush.

George W. Bush is a moron.

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

I’m through mincing words.

Mr. President, please act stately when appearing in public. People tend to notice what you do, at least when you’re not violating the Constitution. When you do that, of course, no one is watching. So feel free to tap dance on our freedoms at your leisure. But, please, keep it professional in front of the White House.

** For the record I also thought it was silly when Obama danced with Ellen, but Georgie Boy has a proven track record of being a complete dolt. Because of that, when he does stupid shit it echoes a bit louder.

If a schmuck makes a speech …

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Was I the only person who found last night’s State of Union Address a completely missable event? It’s not like I’m not into politics either, as everyone around these parts knows. I just don’t care what that dipshit has to say about anything anymore. What was he going to say that wouldn’t have made me moan, throw my hands at the TV, and make off-color jokes?

So I didn’t bother tuning in. Maybe I had gotten my daily dose of political bombast earlier when I watched Mayor Quimby endorse Barack Obama (click here for video). Maybe I care more about the candidates vying to take over for the dipshit in charge than I do about the dipshit himself. Maybe I’ve just stopped taking George W. Bush seriously. After seven years, he’s proven himself to be nothing more than a punchline in a blue suit and tie. Everything he says is either completely retarded or an outright lie, and I guess I feel that he is in no position to speak to anyone about the state of our union. He’s clueless. And if I wanted to listen to a clueless fascist lie to me for an hour I’d go to church on Sunday. But I don’t. I have better things to do with my time, believe it or not.

Last night, those better things consisted of making a remarkably tasty cheeseless pizza (e-mail me for the recipe) and watching the first two episodes of the final season of The Sopranos. I’m pretty sure that’s the political commentator’s equivalent of saying, “I was doing my hair.”

When I woke up this morning, I had forgotten about last night’s speech altogether and only remembered when I heard someone mention it while I was out walking the dog. When I got back inside, I tried reading about it, but I just don’t care. The best thing I found was from The Huffington Post, courtesy of Microsoft Word’s “AutoSummarize” feature. It told me all I needed to know, and it did so in less than a hundred words. I love the Internets.

Breaking News! This just in! Extra! Extra!

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

All I have to say to this is, No shit.

Perhaps future studies will reveal such shocking disclosures as Keith Richards’ drug problem in the build-up to Beggars Banquet or Dick Nixon’s raging paranoia in the months before the break-in at the Watergate Hotel. Keep up the good work, fellas.

This man is once again making himself, and all those he supposedly represents, the laughingstock of the rational world.

Monday, January 14th, 2008

I think I’ve lost a little bit of political vision since the campaign season has heated up, and it nearly burnt me up again with all the recent shenanigans happening on the side of the race I am most interested in, but I need to take a second to think about something going on now that is probably more important than who the wins the Democratic presidential nomination.

Our hapless leader, President George W. Bush, is touring the Middle East right now, and he’s waving that anti-Iran flag with full war-mongering zeal. First, we learned of the “naval incident” between U.S. and Iranian ships in the Persian Gulf, which has spiraled downward into a he-said, she-said propaganda battle. Frankly, in light of suspicious inconsistencies in the U.S.’s side of the story and after all the lies told in the buildup to the Iraq War, I, and many others, are hesitant to take the establishment’s word. That’s a sad commentary on how far we’ve fallen in just seven years, but such is the legacy of Bush and Cheney. Some critics have charged us unpatriotic, socialist traitors with simply looking for an event to call our own Gulf of Tonkin. I say, If the shoe fits. Besides, we already have one of those.

Next, the Half-wit at the Helm proclaimed that the world (read: the few places left that don’t hate and resent the U.S. and Israel) must unite against Iran “before it’s too late.” I’ll let The New York Times provide the context (all emphasis added):

ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates — President Bush on Sunday urged wary Persian Gulf allies to rally against Iran “before it is too late,” even as the International Atomic Energy Agency announced that the country had agreed, yet again, to answer outstanding questions about its nuclear programs within four weeks.

In an address to government and business leaders in an opulent hotel here, Mr. Bush focused not only on what the United States believes are Iran’s nuclear ambitions but also its suspected support for Islamic militants in Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon and the Palestinian territories. He called Iran’s government “the world’s leading sponsor of terrorism” and accused it of imposing repression and economic hardship at home.

“Iran’s actions threaten the security of nations everywhere,” he said. “So the United States is strengthening our longstanding security commitments with our friends in the gulf and rallying friends around the world to confront this danger before it is too late.”

(Editor: Does this song sound familiar to anyone else?)

The announcement … could undercut efforts to build international support against Tehran. It came after a visit to Iran this weekend by Mohamed ElBaradei, the director general of the International Atomic Energy Agency, the United Nations’ nuclear monitoring agency, who met with Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.Read the full story

The tough talk doesn’t stop there, though. In the upcoming issue of Newsweek, we can all read the following in Michael Hirsh’s article, titled “Bothersome Intel on Iran”:

But in private conversations with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert last week, the president all but disowned the document [the National Intelligence Estimate released in early December that stated Iran had discontinued its nuclear weapons program in 2003], said a senior administration official who accompanied Bush on his six-nation trip to the Mideast. ‘He told the Israelis that he can’t control what the intelligence community says, but that [the NIE’s] conclusions don’t reflect his own views’ about Iran’s nuclear-weapons program, said the official, who would discuss intelligence matters only on the condition of anonymity.Read the full story

I find it hilarious that Bush, The Decider, the man who supposedly takes his direction from god himself, who does not believe in evolution, who is, by all accounts and by all evidence culled in nearly two full terms in charge of this country, a complete and utter moron, still thinks “his own views” matter to anyone with an IQ greater than that of old cheese. Give me a break. If I want to know about country music, a good bar to go to in Texas, or where to get the best blow at Yale, then maybe I’ll take “his own views” into account. For all other matters, I’ve learned it’s probably best to look elsewhere.

Perhaps I am, dare I say, too optimistic to think this strategy can work again after it failed so miserably and so embarrassingly the last time. The world is certainly not as gullible as it was five years ago. I only hope the same is true of the many I still reluctantly call my countrymen. Luckily, the Iranian government is doing a decent job at defending itself from the rhetorical jabs of the Americans, rightly accusing Bush and Co. of spreading Iranaphobia.

If the strategy does work, however, and this country is again steeped in a war of its own making, it will be time for the masses to finally admit to the world something that many have felt for a long time but never owned up to: that the government of this country no longer acts according to the will of its people; that it is a rogue agent, a tyrant, a modern manifestation of the very entity from which its founders declared their independence.

Once that acknowledgment is made, we should all apologize to and ask forgiveness from the people who have been oppressed in our name by the swine we have for so long allowed to represent our interests. I’d like to think that some form of massive libertarian socialist revolt will take place at that time, but that is just wishful thinking. All we can really do is hope the rest of the civilized world, and the people who lead it, show more mercy and understanding than our government has shown them.

Until then, we remain a dangerous, weapons-wielding joke to the international community. Rescuing the nation from this fate is the real challenge of the next president. Think about that when you step inside the voting booth.